Maze Advocacy - your rights, your voice

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How to be your own advocate

Being your own advocate is about speaking up for yourself and your views and wishes. It is often called self-advocacy.

Don’t worry if you find speaking up for yourself difficult. There are lots of different ways to get people to listen, and they don’t all involve you speaking.

Ways to get people to hear what you are saying:

Plan beforehand

Take the time to plan what you want to say, whether it is for a meeting or just that you want to talk to someone about an issue that you are not happy about. This will help you to get things clear with yourself so you can be clear with others.

If you go into a meeting with someone and you have planned what you want to say then you will sound clearer and more confident – this gets people to listen to you more. It can help to write things down so you have notes to take into the meeting to remind you. Making key points on a piece of paper can act as a simple confidence and memory boost.

Practice and rehearse what you want to say. This will increase your confidence and you will know that you have prepared as best you can.

Think about if you want someone to come with you to give you moral support.

Think through what might happen

It can also be good to think about what you would like the outcome of the meeting or situation you are in to be, what you think is likely, and how you can prepare for it. Think about how other people might respond to what you are going to say and how you can be ready for this – but don’t always assume the worst! When you clearly speak up for yourself people often will understand you better and are then more likely to respond positively to you.

Writing a summary of your views for other people to have in the meeting

Writing your own statement to share with other people can help them to take notice of your views. Keeping it simple and clear will make sure that your wishes and feelings are more easily understood, especially if you feel there is a chance that you may feel upset or angry during the meeting.

Draw or create a summary of your views

You don’t have to use writing. Your own drawings, magazine cuttings or computer printed pictures can really get people to understand how you are feeling and what you are wanting. You may need to put in some writing to help explain too, but it shows people that you are serious about what you are saying.

If you know how perhaps you could even prepare a computer presentation to show them before or even in the meeting

Arranging a meeting

If there is no meeting arranged for you then do you want one? If its an issue that is affecting you then you have every right to ask for a meeting to talk about what is going on. Its your life therefore its your meeting!

It could be that you only need to ask for a meeting or you may need to write a letter or email.

Writing a letter

Sometimes you may try talking to someone and it doesn’t work or sometimes it will feel right to write it in a letter. This is a good way to get your views across as it is harder for anyone to ignore something you have written down!

It can also be a way to complain about something if you have already tried to talk to someone about it but they haven’t really listened.

Be aware also that when you write something down it creates a record of what you have said. This can have advantages in that you can refer back to it but other people can also refer to what you have said in it too!

Finding out about your situation

The more you can find out about your situation the more empowered and confident you will feel.
Talk to other people who you know might give you some support, maybe they might have had a time when speaking up for themselves made a difference to an issue.

What are your rights? If you don’t know then find out!

What other information is available for young people? You could try an internet search or see what books your local library might have. It can be good to get a range of views and information about your situation, but you will also have to use your common sense about what you read and listen to.

Keeping records

One thing that advocates do is they keep records of important things that people have said or of what has been decided at meetings. If you can keep your own notes of these what’s been said or agreed then not only will you be more prepared for the next one but you will be taken more seriously by the adults involved as this is what some of them will be doing too!

Its not unreasonable to ask to see notes that anyone may keep from any situation or meeting that you are involved in.

Know your rights

We’ve already mentioned this so why are we doing so again? The thing is knowing your rights, and what they mean can empower you. Knowing them is also a safety net for you because they are there to prevent the wrong things from happening for you. Don’t be afraid to quote them at people but be quietly confident, you don’t need to shout them to get them noticed, you just need to be assertive about them.

Being assertive

It is easy to feel under pressure when it comes to expressing yourself. You may feel under the spotlight and may not feel confident about what to say. There are a few simple things that you can do to help you be clear and confident in what you are saying, even if other people may disagree with you:

• Plan what you want to say and write it down clearly. You could also rehearse it with a friend who understands
• Try to stay calm, even if you feel uncertain or angry
  If you think you are not being heard then calmly repeat yourself, until you are acknowledged
• You don’t have to answer questions straight away. If you feel under pressure, say you would like time to think about it please.
• You have a right to express your views and to have them respected. You do not have to agree to any suggestion or paln that you do not feel is in your best interests.
• Trust yourself. You can get the best support and care for yourself by being:
  • Friendly – yet firm
  • Assertive – not angry (even if you don’t feel it)
  • Persistent – not pushy
• Be positive. Keep trying and, eventually, it will pay off.